Managing the Shadow

Chapter 10: A Couple of Monsters

Chapter 10: A Couple of Monsters

Blue lines streamed across his forearm. His arm grew tense. They pulsed at the same rate as his heart did- slowly at first but the more he focused in, the faster they pulsed. His arm began to constrict in a disturbing fashion. He heard a voice calling him in the background. The pulsing sped up. The lines began pulsing faster again, almost flashing now. He could smell a slight singeing. His arm began to writhe.

“Cade!”

Everything stopped. He let his robe fall over his uncovered arm as Blue burst open the door.

“Cade!” Her voice was relieved, but he could sense a hint of anger in her tone. “What were you doing? I was looking all over for you!”

“Sorry, I-” he picked up the root beside his bed, “was attempting to feel the Force in the root again.”

“Did you figure anything out?”

“About?”

“The root!”

“Oh, no. No… nothing.”

“Cade,” Blue sat next to him on the bed. She leaned in to caress his cheek, but as she did, he pulled away. She drew back at his retreat.

“Are you okay? You’ve been so off since Traya went-” she paused looking for the right word. All she could muster was, “away.”

Cade took a deep breath in. Then he looked directly into Deliah’s eyes. “No, I’m fine, my love. Never been better.”

The words fell like stones out of his mouth. Delilah had never felt words so empty from Cade before. They felt so apart, so separate since Traya had left.

Blue could feel Cade was holding something deep, deep inside. He was carrying some heavy weight and refusing to put that burden upon her. However, this is what they had agreed to. She had gone against Zeltron tradition in marrying Cade, but she had wanted to live her life together with him, and him alone. Both in joy and sadness. She didn’t realize how much harder it was in sadness.

She wanted to lessen his suffering, yet something inside him refused to open up. She hated being held at arm's length like this.

Blue continued to look at him, not breaking her gaze. When Cade looked back at her, he could feel suspicions coming through her eyes.

Blue answered now that he was looking at her, “are you sure, Cade? You still haven’t told me what happened that night…”

She waited for a response, but one never came. She tried from a different angle, “I know how much you miss her.”

Cade smiled and said, absentmindedly, almost as if in a conversation with himself, not aware that Blue was next to him. “I remember the Masters telling us about a time when Jedi weren’t supposed to get attached.”

He chuckled, “now we’re crying over Sith.”

Blue slapped him sternly across the face.

The air between them turned to ice. Blue tried to recover herself. “Babe, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Cade looked up with a haunted smile. “No you’re right babe. I was out of line. Traya’s no Sith. I should know that better than anyone.”

“I know, but still…”

Cade felt a piercing pain slice through his arm. He winced in pain. Delilah feared it was her fault. Out of instinct, she drew close to Cade in an attempt to remove his pain. Yet, when she got near to him she realized that she really had no idea what he needed right now...

The silence between them had never been so loud.

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